When I Was A Young Man:
When I was a young man oh the things that I held true. Kicking back along the track of things that I would do. But now my feet are stationary in my stride, and I've lost all sense of motion of this ride.
When I was a young man there were points to which we 'd reach. A purpose in creating and a reason for our speech. But my mouth grows ever full of vapid words; quickly lost in time or left out on the curb.
But still sometimes I'm left wishing that our souls could just float and be free. Oh we'd be so high like clouds in the sky, but then I think that such a day may never be.
When I was a hunter I would strive with every step; looking out across the ground at things that I could get, but those things have come and passed and moved along. Now I sadly try to write a better song.
When I have tried so hard to be something, just to find I'm still nothing at all. And all those who were nothing in the first place, well all their nothing's turned to something that's so strong. And I guess that I've cared too much all along.
Wishing and hoping my life could be something that wasn't worth joking about. Thinking and spilling my guts on the ceiling when everyone else is about.
I wanted someone to let me know where I was going.
Thinking and dreaming that something worth seeing would come into my life again. And praying to myself that someone who I could believe in would open their arms.
And I'd become something to belong. To belong.
Wishing and hoping my life was something that wasn't worth joking about. Maybe some day that day will be here but for now I don't know what's about-
to go down. And I'm so often turned around.
Does anyone care anymore? I could just fucking close the door on myself- end it all.
I left all sentiment, over past the bench. I left my dreams and wishes down by the swings. And at the time I reached the sidewalk ground, the race it had unwound.
For to dream of light, we must dream of dark. And all those things we think upon one day we'll embark. Just as the apple falls and rots into the ground- we stand we must fall down.
Everything Will Be Fine:
I was raised to go out and find it. I was gone when winter began. And as a circuit I was not grounded, in the waiting game, in the waiting game.
I found out that there are no boundaries. I still doubt life will not change. And I've found reason to hold my head up even when it's insane- even when it's insane.
I have walked down the distant paths of life, where I stumbled in my stride. Until I caught onto the momentum of the passage of time- of the passage of time.
I don't hope that you will come find me here. I don't pray you seek the divine. But what I can say, if you'd dare me, is everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Yes everything will be fine.
I wrote and recorded this song at a time when I felt my musical integrity wasn't being recognized. I'd hit a wall and really felt weak and not in my stride.
A certain truth came from this sense of pain and surrender. The idea behind this song is that it's written from an old soul's perspective. It talks about being young, and believing the world is your oyster so to speak. Over time the reality of living catches up with you more and more.
It's written from the perspective of someone who once believed that what they were accomplishing meant a great deal. They were once a hunter, gaining momentum, productivity, and success. In the end they realize it's all a pointless venture and surrender.
There's some strange peace that comes through this. It's depressing, but the idea is along the lines of- when you have nothing left you also have nothing left to loose. This theme sets the tone for the whole album.
I recorded this song literally when wasted and living in a basement room while a party went on upstairs. You can hear distant noises of people laughing and dancing in the recording, as well as a dubbed over field recording from a subway station in Singapore.
This song really comes from a place of just feeling shitty, and wanting something more out of life. I literally made up the tune and the lyrics as I went along.
It's a song of feeling rejected, feeling worthless, feeling like a social outcast, and it ends with the proposition of 'ending it all', something that we all can relate too when we feel completely lost and troubled.
I wrote this song while traveling in Montreal and Toronto. I had this silly vision of somehow falling into some sort of romance with this person who I'd met once before while traveling. It didn't pan out at all and instead I spent a bunch of time wandering the city alone.
I realized I had my laptop and there were a few odd instruments around the house I was staying in and found peace through recording this song. It serves as a mantra for the time I spent on my journey and also it's a song of surrender and release.
The lyrics literally depict a moment of contemplation during which I walked across a park, beginning on one side, passing by the swings, and ending at the sidewalk on the other side. It was in this tiny window that I realized it was okay that things didn't pan out how I'd wanted them to and surrendered to the idea.
'The race it had unwound'. I came to a certain understanding of reality at that moment, which was an understanding that didn't blind itself in the good only. Instead, it accepted the reality of the world we live in. The 'apple falls and rots into the ground' as in what is ripe will rot, and good is inevitably coupled with a loss of good at some point in time.
This song is a song of peace and allowing the world to be what it will be. I explain that I was impatient and hadn't found a good rhythm in which to move through life.
Sometimes it feels like such a massive emotional roller coaster just to exist, and just to live. I explain going down distant paths of life, some of those paths being journeys of love, some of success with music and notoriety. But even those paths will lead in some cases to disaster or difficulties.
In the end I say that it's okay to follow your own path, whatever it may be. You don't have to 'find me here,' you don't have to 'seek the divine'. I end on a very core truth and say that everything will be fine.